Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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