Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
