Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
