I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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