Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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