Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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