I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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