my mouth tastes like poor choices
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize