the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
