I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
