i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
