yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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