She is in my trunk
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
