Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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