just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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