y did u give ur computer a hand job?
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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