I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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