just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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