I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
