New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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