Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I FOUND THE LEGS
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
