Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
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There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
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I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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