Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
