Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
