when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
