When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
