Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
