I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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