you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
