Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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