suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize