Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
