How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
