Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
