Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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