Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
