I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
