His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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