yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
