we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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