if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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