Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
