she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
