When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
