lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
