Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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