I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Randomize
