You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
