He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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