I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Randomize
