I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
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LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
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Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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