So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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