Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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