What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i out mim tonsoeep
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize