You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize