it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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