I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
