Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize