I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
