it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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