So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
