I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
