Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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