Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
