I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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