So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
