It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
