just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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