ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
