I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
