My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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