careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
im six kinds of drunk right now
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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