I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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