I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
