I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
