I wish I only lived at night.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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