How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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