I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
