Yo dont text me then not text me
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
