TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
