I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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