And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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