You're my little dorito
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
