Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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