Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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